:)

moon and back

would you follow me to the moon?
play with me amongst the stars?

kiss me on mars?

i dont care if you dont care

i got lonely being alone

it all felt too familiar, being alone

i hated it

i really didnt need it

left to ponder my thoughts (overthink)

relax my mind (go crazy)

well atleast now i can be happy to be home

although, not for long im guessing

prick

i get it
i fucked up
now can you fuck off
i dont want to talk about it
i dont want to apologise,
even though i am sorry
you dont deserve it
you assume everything
because you dont know me
after 17 years you are clueless
and i'd like to keep it that way
you're in my life by force not by choice
im trying to hard to get away,
my newfound freedom was exciting
now you're fucking that up too
i cant wait to get away
to get away from you

the eagle has landed

im back bitches
i thought that nightmare would never end
now im back with these people i never knew i could miss so much
i guess its true when they say
"you dont know what you've got til its gone"

i dont want to

normally, id give anything to get away

to have some peace of mind

to escape my life

but at the moment, im happy
i dont want to leave you behind

it may only be 10 days

and i may only be 800kms away

but its going to be hard

see you soon

dont let go

innocence is lost and no one really cares,

its a little scary when you realise no matter who, or how many people you are surrounded by, ultimately you are alone,

you will never have anyone but yourself

to trust

to rely on.

it hurts doesnt it?

lost and confused

it all gets a bit confusing
feelings are overwhelming
i thought i was done with the sadness
whys it creeping up on me again
ive got everything i wished for
im not trying to push everyone away
so why is it happening?
i just want to be happy
whys it so fucking hard

fuck

"yeah, im fine. i'm just having an allergic reaction to the universe" - Seth Cohen

our being

you bleed red, as do i
your muscles are tense, just as mine are
your bones are my bones
and you are
just as i am
only human

break/broken/brave

grasping at these newfound freedoms

i feel a little uneasy

im realising my control is only limited

i cant control you, or how you feel

i cant control them, what they say or how they act

i cant control me, or how i think

i cant control the world, or how it works

i cant control money, or my lack of

its scary

no, its terrifying

i want to just let go

but i think i'll hold on for now

i've still got some fight in me yet

you've shown me how to be brave

even when there is little hope

you've shown me that even when you've sunk

you can learn to swim again

so i'll be brave

for now

hold on

feel

our sleepovers

i enjoy sleepovers probably too much
ever since i was a little i hated sleeping alone
i get scared and uneasy
sleeping in your arms is my favourite
sometimes i wake in the middle of the night
searching for your hands
and when i realise you arent there,
i cant get back to sleep

you dont even know

so quick to tear me down
you're calling it self obsession
but mother darling
this is nothing but self hatred
i do these things to change me
because i am unhappy
not because i love myself
you dont know how i feel
so dont be so quick to assume
im not as tough as i may seem,
but lets keep that our little secret

snip cut

something i've wanted to do for a while
i finally got the guts to shave the side of my head
i like it
thankgod, cause it's going to be a bitch to grow out

i cant sleep

cant we be happy forever?

no one to blame but myself

i am an idiot

and a screw up

regret is killer and it hurts like hell

can you see me?

i wonder
can you see through my mask
do you see inside my soul
im well hidden
but im losing control