content

i dont blog alot anymore
i guess i just dont have alot to complain about
things seem to be going fairly well
and i know i have good friends to help me out when they dont

fly

always feeling trapped, i want to be free as a bird

perplexed

i know you like no other

gold

goodbyes

Jesus christ im alone again,
What did you do those 3 days you were dead?
Well jesus christ i'm not afraid to die,
I'm a little bit scared of what comes after,
Do I get the gold chariot?
Do I float through the ceiling?

- Brand New

NYC - city of my dreams

i miss snowy newyork
i also miss hot, sticky new york,
also, gorgeous fall new york,
and refreshing spring new york ,
for now i'll admire my snowglobe,
pretending i actually am where id rather be.

im still lost

im probably the most content in my life than ive ever been
i still very much doubt myself due to my shortcomings
i will never be good enough,
smart enough,
interesting enough,
small enough,
its really irritating, i wish i was as confident as i can pretend to be

mini turtle

when i was a kid i used to beg my mum to buy me one of these little turtles whenever we were in china town in NYC, they sell them illegally for like a dollar, she never gave in :(

get away !

leave me alone

i always get the bad ones

theyre the only ones i want
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

its that simple

now, i may be a bitch
i may say horrible things
but no matter what, deep down
i know when i need to have respect,
even for people im in disagreeance with
but you,
you were born without respect

678

more like i dont care

factual

Did anyone hurt you in the past couple days?
Yes

Who was the last girl that called you?
Marciarn

Does she mean anything to you?
Love her and value her friendship immensely

Do you still care about your last ex?
Not really, no

Look in your call log, who was your last phone call from?
Private caller

If you could go back in time and change things, would you?
Yes and no, i would love to fix things and make different decisions, but then again i dont want to relive all those past situations, id rather move forward with my knowledge of the past.

What should you be doing right now?
Studying for my drama exam, learning my monologue, doing my artwork

Are you happy with how life is going for you?
Not really

Is there anyone in particular that you’re missing right now?
Sure

Do you believe in God?
No

In the last 6 months can you say you truly cared about someone?
Of course

Are you happier now than you were five months ago?
Yes definately

Do you have feelings for someone?
Yeah

Are you dating the last person you kissed?
Nope

Is there someone on your mind that shouldn’t be?
Of course

Do you text more girls, or guys?
Guys probably

Who is your last text from?
Deleted

Do you ever read the ingredients on food labels?
Yes

Are you manipulative?
I think so

Sexiest thing on the opposite sex?
Arms, face, smile, eyes, hair..dro0o0ol everything

d@d

you are so quick-tempered

you are so angry

you cannot communicate your feelings

you drink too much

but what i hate most of all is im exactly like you

people like you should not reproduce

i will try everyday to not turn out like you

for that is my worst fear

good/bad

+
the buried life (tv show)
cucumber salad
wedge heels
candy perfume
watercolours
conversation
laughing with friends (im talking full blown stomach aching laughter)

-
fb chat retardation
headaches
arguments
dissapointment
money

now fuck off

see, the attitude, it was endearing
your humour, it was funny
your face, it was attractive
your control, yeah see,
thats when i changed 'it is' to 'was'
you blew it

dirty talk

kitten heels, lingerie, pantyhose, foreplay, legs up on the bar, in the back of your car, latex, champagne, bubble bath, whipped cream, cherry pop tag team

4 3 2 1, what we fighting for

my head is twisted

part of me knows your as simple as anything

but the other half cant figure you out

have some respect

dirty filthy nasty

"Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere"

dissapointment

yet again

inside; come out

we all get like this,

when you feel as though you're going to explode,

or rather you have the urge to, when the pressure is on

at the moment my future is so nerve-wracking

and the present is increasingly just as bad

i cant wait to feel at peace

i hate my body

i hate how this consumes me
i wish to be thin
its funny though,
because i dont think i'll ever be pleased
10 kilos lighter and i still feel disgusting
but these days i wish could wear a potato sack

abby

just found these photos from a couple years ago
at the vet after she'd been poisoned
still feel guilty for spending 5 grand to help her survive
because after 6 months of nursing her back to health
she died of a heart attack at 5 years old
i regret not letting her be put down
and making her suffer

i miss her, she was such a sweet soul

Oops

i did it again

good riddance

it was about a month or so ago that my head cleared

i was finally able to breathe

i no longer love you

i no longer miss you

not to say i dont cherish all our memories, but

i have no desire to see you

i have no desire to talk with you

it took me long enough to get back on my feet

to put back in place everything you tore apart

but fuck i've never felt better,

i hate to say it, and i never thought i would

but ive never been happier now that you're gone

in saying that, i also do not resent you

we went through alot, ive grown so much because of you

and for your sake i hope you figure things out

before its too late

ALL THIS BULLSHIT MADE ME STRONG
MUTHAFUCKKKKKKKAZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

twist&turn

you always want me to come to you
and you never want me to leave

no thankyou

i am content
im not so eager to escape reality
cause everything seems to be going so well
for now

soul-dier

i will put back up my walls, build myself an army

k-os

we get along like a house on fire

who would have thought?

new blood

i like all this,

fresh friends and all that

getting fucked up and just chilling out

im always cold

you hold me tight when i shiver
and wont let go even after you fall asleep
your a little rough around the edges
i see straight through you

inkasaurus

So thrilled my birds have arrived,
to remind me to spread my wings and be free
you've only got one life and one chance
and it is what you make it.

such a shame

although, i do wonder if you have one at all

nautical star

pinch me

i didnt ever wake up dreaming
or dream that i was awake
sometimes my dreams feel like reality
but most of the time my reality feels like a dream

bittersweet

i waited for the alcohol to hit my head

then i lost all feeling in my legs